Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
