My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
