I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just cut my nipple shaving
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
