we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
