well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
