it wasn't lemon gatorade
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
