I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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