are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
