I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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