I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
