You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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