I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
