When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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