when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have fence marks all over my body
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
