I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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