what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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