Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
