I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
