Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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