Christians are straight up FREAKS
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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