I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There's always time for handjobs
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
