her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
do herpes really smell.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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