My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
