p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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