I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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