im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
