Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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