Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
