hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Randomize
