and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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