Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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