I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
