This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
