so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
