You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
