I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
