This house was built for laser tag.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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