Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
