Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
