Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
