She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
