I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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