my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
dude. I can hear the air.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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