Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
