well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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