O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
