dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
