do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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