i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
