If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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