I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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