I can tuck mytits in my pants
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
