do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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