So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
they need to just BURY HIM!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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